Friday, August 3, 2007


I was just sitting on the porch, trying to think of what in the world I could do next. I have sat in front of this computer all freakin' day and my brain is just fried. There is so much I wish I could be doing right now. Instead, I'm sitting in the kitchen beside a baby gate that drives me insane, listening to 4 boys argue over Lego Star Wars and how it SHOULD be played, one baby girl getting into everything she can and another baby girl singing along with Spongebob's theme song. Yes, folks, 6 children. 2 of them are mine, 3 belong to my best friend (whom I live with, more on that later) and the 6th child belongs to my best friend's aunt...who dropped him off because her husband is in the emergency room.
BTW - you know that you are having a mildly bad day when a thought like "why couldn't his stomach have popped yesterday?" runs though your head. A: because it is a selfish thing to wish that someone's stomach had popped the day before so you wouldn't be the only one home with all of the kids and B: BECAUSE YOU WISHED HIS STOMACH HAD POPPED YESTERDAY! What kind of sick person actually entertains a thought like that???
Apparently I do.
I'll have to start cooking supper in a few minutes for the 9 of us that live in the house, and our additional guest. Did I mention that I'm not that great of a cook? Ok, give me a cookbook and all of the ingredients and we are good to go, I'll try anything...but just pulling stuff out at random and making a meal? Yeah right. As it is, I have decided upon mashed potatoes, mac & cheese with hamburger and probably carrots. I am so sad...rofl.
So - My family now lives in Missouri in a house with my bf and her husband...oh yeah, and the 3 children. My husband and I, plus kids, make a whopping 9. We have all lived together before, minus 2 of the children, and things were ok. However, it was our house we were in. Its amazing how different things are when it is no longer your own house but someone else's. Why are we here? Because we filed for bankruptcy and the court screwed us out of a house. It was not supposed to be on the bankruptcy...but we did put our missed payments on there so we could be counted as current. Welllll, the BC was not paying on those missed payments and we were told, around 6 months later, that our house was going to be foreclosed on due to lack of payment. Well, crap...what do we do now?? Move to Missouri, our home, to be with friends and family.
Now everything we have is outside in boxes and what little we need to survive is in a roughly 10x10 room - that includes our queen sized bed, our daughter's playpen "bed", tv, dresser, fan and a bookshelf. And I'm going insane. Our computer is inside - forgot that one - but it is in the kitchen...still not sure if that is a good or bad thing. Our son is upstairs sharing a room with the other 2 boys.
I go through days where I'm just sick of being here and then alternating between depression and elation...ok not so much elation as contentment. Life is what it is. Losing everything for the second time in your life tends to teach you new things...things I maybe could have gone without learning...but you learn, just the same. More it is cooking time :)