Saturday, December 29, 2007

I'm back

You really need to go read Melissa's game experience. I came back from a nap to find the message from her saying that my recent SIMS experience triggered an old memory. I really needed the laugh...thanks Melissa :).

Like I said, I took about an hour nap before Jenn needed to leave for work at 2. I woke up with her face inches from that is a freaky experience. My son used to do it all the the middle of the night...and I would wake up with a shadow in the doorway or breathing on my face. I'm naturally a very jumpy person, too may bad life experiences, so things like this nearly make me lose it. Especially with the dreams I have sometimes. I shook for about two minutes, but we laughed about it. Its not the first time she's done that...and at least she isn't a shadow :).

Like I said earlier I began to take my Cymbalta again. For those that don't know, it is a depression medicine. I have a post I'm working on about my depression...look for it tomorrow. Its really too important to try to fit everything in right here. Quickly though, I will say this. Last night I mentioned to my husband that I had felt it coming for a couple of days. Since he's the type to say "just get over it" I searched my mind for a life comparison and this is what I came up with.
I have 2 variations of my depression (2 major ones anyway). 1. You're driving down the road, going 60 miles an hour, singing to the radio and happy out of your mind - thing you are hit from all 4 sides by diesel's. 2. You're driving along and notice a deer running beside you. You know that if you hit it your car will be totaled and there will be serious trouble. You believe you can outrun it...but eventually it swerves in front of you...leaving confusion and destruction in its wake. Recently it has been the second one...and it hit me hard last night.

On the brighter side, I feel lighter today. It could be because nothing is left in my stomach...but I believe its because of the breakdown. And, because my husband is beginning to understand. I can only hope that is the case. When you are depressed you need those that love you, or that you are closest to, to just give you a hug, wipe a tear away or tell you they love you. Its amazing how much those little things can make a difference. If you know someone that is suffering with depression today...could you please just take a few moments to call/talk to them and tell you that you love them...give them a hug if you can. It will let a little light into the darkness, a light they search for every day that the disease is ravaging their bodies.

And this link will show you that being kind and dealing with 'mean' people can reward you in the end...not that you should do it for a reward but...oh just read the


Bri said...

I'm glad to see that you are doing what you need to to feel better. If I could give you a hug, I would. :)