Monday, October 8, 2007

Illness and Frustration

Well, I finally got my laptop online, which I'm thankful for, but I'm so frustrated with it. I have the v and space keys sticking..which makes every sentence a pain in the butt. I'm not sure, I think something may have gotten spilled in them. The warmer the computer gets, the worse the sticking becomes.
I've had a rough couple of days since my last post. On a good note, Isaac won his 3rd football game. We have 2 games this week...not really looking forward to that at all. My 'monthly' was very late so I was thinking I could be pregnant...not something I have the desire to My husband was kind enough to say that he feels it could have been least he noticed.
You know, I love kids. Heck, I was the director for a daycare center for 3 years and even have my degree in Early Childhood Education. However, I'm not accustomed to dealing witha 9 year old. Do they all think they are 19?? After "H" punched his brother in the back the other day, I sent him to his room. He was ticked at me for that and kicked down the baby gate, then threw a shoe. He says he fell on it...but that doesn't jive with the fact that it landed beside me...a distance of 10 or so feet. I had my back to him at the time so I can't prove it either way. For the is not my son. Its my nephew, whom I watch every day so the three other adults can go to work. Along with him I have 2 girls (ages 2 and 3) and 2-6 year old boys. (Only 2 of the 5 belong to me).
Recovering from a serious 3 year long depression is not easy...I struggle with it every day. During the majority of that 3 years I was in Kansas and dealt every day, at some point or another, with just wanting to run away. The kids wouldn't listen to husband didn't understand or even want to..I had no friends (except the wonderful online variety). Now, I'm here all day, every day, dealing with 3 more kids who have an even harder time listening. I'm to the point that I've had enough...but do you know what daycare is for that many kids??? I'm stuck here...and that makes it worse.
I'll be leaving in a little bit to take Lylli to the doctor. For a month now she has had problems using the bathroom (#2). I've tried suppositories, children's laxatie, fruit juice..everything I know to do and nothing is working. She spends her day trying to poop, and telling everyone she meets that...and crying because either her butt or her belly hurts. Due to lack of funds and sheer desperation hoping she would just get better, I have not taken her to the doctor until now. I should have done it sooner....but with Jenn working such weird hours in the last couple of weeks I've not even been able to make an appointment. Her husband is home today and can watch his daughter so I just jumped in this morning and called. I'm nervous. I've heard the horror stories about blockage and what they have to do to remedy it. I'm scared for my little girl. Pray that God is with her and it is something the doctor can easily fix.