Saturday, March 22, 2008

9 Years?! Holy Crap!!

As its my anniversary and my mother is here, I am getting this post in kinda late. Lets just pretend that I'm still writing this on the 21st, K?

I'll start with how the evening was spent: Sean and I celebrated 9 years (Holy crap!) at a new Chinese place - where you actually sit down to order...meaning, there was no buffet. Definately a first for us :). Then we just puttered around the mall and headed home. Nothing fancy, just simple time together...it was pleasent.

I haven't talked much about the relationship that Sean and I have. I've started it a hundred times...even have a rough draft saved. Our path together has been a rollercoaster...one that I can reflect on today with admiration that we were able to overcome it without losing our cookies. Although - we nearly did.
2 years ago we very nearly did not make it to our 7 year anniversary. Until that time Sean and I were growing up, changing in ways we never expected. I was 17, he 19, when we married...we still had so much growing up to do - but no one could tell us that :). Anyway, for the first 7 years we grew and changed in selfish ways. Seeing things not as a couple but with eyes of individuality. We bought our first car, had it paid off in a year. Sean had a great job and favor with his boss. The bank would give us loans whenever we wanted them...a different car whenever we got tired of the current one. We 'owned' our own home. Sean was an ordained minister, leader of our youth group, sunday school leader - and pretty much the assistant pastor of our church.
BUT - everything went downhill quickly after my father died. I had quit my job and with being pregnant it was a long time before I was able to get a new one. The bills piled up and we each dealt with the stress in our own, self-absorbed ways. We each made huge mistakes because of it and divorce seemed the only option...then we found each other again one night. Crying and baring our souls on the floor of the room I had been using as my bedroom for a short time.
It has not been perfect...it has not been easy. Only a few months ago I still entertained the thought of leaving every time we had a fight.
Until the last time I was at my mother's. Confidences were 'betrayed' and Sean became aware of this and the final board was placed in the bridge between us. I stood on my mother's porch and prayed - realizing that I had to let go of that feeling of always being ready to leave and commit myself to making it work. I was just giving myself an option of getting out - never really giving it my all. I just believed that it would never change.
When Sean and I lost everything, and the last 10 months with nothing, have taught us how to grow together. It has taught us that we are in life together. It has taught us how valuable our children are and that only by being together will the 4 of us make it in this world.

9 years...how awesome is that?

3 comments:

Marylin said...

Congratulations on 9 years together! I'm so glad you've grown together over the last two years instead of apart. Marriage is hard work isn't it?

Bri said...

Yay you! Congrats on making it work for 9 years!

The VerWaynes said...

What a great testament to marriage - the good and the bad!