Friday, March 7, 2008

Meeting of the Minds

Last Wednesday night, as I lay sleeping, forces obviously outside of my control had a meeting. Their topic of discussion: how to make the next week of my life a LIVING HELL. This is how it probably went:

Immune System is standing at the, I don't know who made him boss. Anyway...

IS: Everyone settle down. I'm sure you wonder why you've been called here tonight. Its come to my attention, on a very reliable source, that next week is going to be minorly interesting for our Host. Lately she has not been taking very good care of us. (Points towards the side of the room) know what I mean. (Lungs begin sobbing quietly.) So I thought this might be a good time to completely Rock Her World...and I know how much we all love a good laugh. What we need to do now is come up with our 'plan of attack'...who wants to be first?

A booming, butch voice pipes up in the back of the room "Heya...look my week isn't until next week...but I guess coming on sooner than expected could piss her off a little. I'll go first."

IS: Nice thinking, Menstrual Cycle. Can you start first thing in the morning?

MC: Bright and early.

IS: Now we're in motion and I'd like to take the time to introduce you to our special guests. They will also begin their work tomorrow morning. This is the Flu Mafia. (Gasps filled the meeting space as the Flu Mafia took their place on stage. Everyone had heard of them..but seeing them standing there in green Phlegmarni suits was certainly impressive.) They will begin their assault on her know how much she values being able to hear what is around her.

So, I awoke Thursday morning to a knock at the proberbial 'door' by Ms. MC...oh wait, that wench never knocks. She just barges in like she owns the dang place. Then around 5 pm the Flu Mafia took over my ear canal and clogged them so bad I could not hear myself speak.
Each day after that I was hit with a new wave. It was interesting how inventive my body was...the Immune System was quite the orchestrator.
There was coughing, sneezing, headaches, complete lethargy, shortness of breath...even mild dizziness and upset stomach.
What made it worse was that every day I had to watch kids...and my husband was here sick. I will give my hsuband his 'props'...he helped with the kids as much as he could and was very kind to me.
We started feeling somewhat normal yesterday...until my body threw me for another loop and added a possible kidney infection into the mix. You know, that feeling of needing to pee every 5. Minutes! I spent all of yesterday chugging cranberry juice (which I hate with the red-hot intensity of a thousand suns) so I don't have that constant pee-feeling anymore....Thank God!!

So perhaps that was a bit I just don't have an internal censor right body is too tired to care. It has taken me all day to finish even this Here it is 10:13 at night and I have no idea when I I have lost my train of thought....dear Lord, when will this brain fuzz