Friday, April 25, 2008

The Wind Has Momentarily (I Hope) Left My Sails

or I believe I may aim to high...

For months I've been excited, waiting for a bike to be done at the Harley dealership because I was going to photograph it. For a high-profile client. A football player.

Just last night I spent an hour trying to fall asleep because I was obsessing over it - lighting, set-up...

Tonight I was kicked in the stomach. Apparently, a douchebag that Sean works with convinced the bike owner to HIRE an F-ing photographer in the city...

Yes, I spent a bit of time crying on the front porch with a cigarette turning to ash between my fingers - it was too much effort to lift it to my lips, or even care it existed. That time was also spent feeling sorry for myself and saying things like: "I should just sell all my photo gear and get a regular 9-5 job...forget all this."

Now...I'm just trying to stop the pity-party. As Sean said, would I do this if a client just up and cancelled on me. The answer is no, I wouldn't. I'd ask why and move forward.
Its just that this was so big...this was really important to me.

*sigh* And the day goes on.

2 comments:

Melissa said...

This sucks. I'm sorry something this important to you, that got you so excited, was derailed in this way. You know what? It looked like it'd be a great thing, but maybe you've just been spared something awful. Maybe the real great thing is still to come.

Kendra said...

Thank you...I really appreciate that :).