Friday, May 30, 2008

Not my day..

Let's face it. We all have those days where we wake up and just KNOW that not our day. For some its once every year, for others its every day but one in a year. I fall somewhere in between...I think.

I woke up this morning to a shrill alarm clock interrupting a dream I didn't want to be in anyway...but I'm so lame that I had to know the end. I needed to know if my husband left me and only came back because that tramp he was shagging had a friend who encouraged her to NEVER shut up...or because he realized that he loved me and couldn't live without me. And, I needed to know if I took him back - and why. Did I do it because I felt sorry for him, sorry for myself or because I actually still loved him.

I sat on the edge of the bed for 10 minutes thinking about it. I shuffled into the bathroom and spent 10 minutes staring at myself in the mirror believing that he would actually have every reason in the world to leave me....even if it was for a barking-dog of a woman. Then I spent 5 minutes letting a cigarette burn in my fingers by the back door vowing to only drink water from now on and loose some of this f'ing weight already. Cuz, obviously that was my problem.

I spent 7 hours watching 5 children and wishing I could just get in the van and go sit by the lake at the park and feed the myself. What I did during that time instead was sit in the middle of pathetic boy fights about pool noodles, legos and water in a tent...and watch Barbie movies. Oh God...I can not forget about the Barbie movies - where even though someone is out to get that blonde bimbo her life is still perfect and still falls for the man of her dreams. Seriously, where did she find the wrap dress on the island anyway?

I really hate myself so I watched '27 Dresses' - and of course she falls for her amazing dream guy in the end. I also took the kids for a ride so I could get more cigarettes and a soda - that I swore this morning I would never drink again. Then, just to cap of my afternoon I drove through the 'rich' neighborhood to ogle the houses that I will most likely never have. I did get to psuedo cuss-out the chic in the Lexus that was tailing me - my dirty green mini-van was not going fast enough for her over-priced, garage-clean luxury sedan.

I have grumped at my husband since he got home - late. I ate a microwave dinner for the dark...while watching 'Mad Money' (knowing that I would NEVER get away with something like that).

I wanted to blog about my new website that the amazing Melissa created for me. Please check it out HERE.
I wanted to be funny and upbeat - full of life, and hope, and creativity....but it is just NOT my day.


Marylin said...

Awww honey, I feel ya, really I do.


Melissa said...

I missed this somehow.

I'm glad you like the site :) I hope it brings you lots of new work. (-Fun paid work, not housework or stuff like that! ;) )