I'll admit the title is a little melodramatic. I just can't believe its nearly Christmas and the end of the year. Where did it go? I guess its true...the older you get the more time will fly by. Once you hit your major teenage milestones the snowball just speeds up until you reach the bottom of the hill.
I can remember waiting...until I hit 13, 16, 18 and 21. Although, my 16-21 was spent engaged, married and living as a mother..lol.
I may be leaving for Kansas tomorrow. Thank you for the well-wishes...I plan on just taking some time to sort things out and relax. My husband and I finally had a long talk last night. I explained that I feel as though I've hit a crossroads. I can see myself just standing there, at an intersection. I know where the road straight-ahead will take me...its the one I'm afraid of. The one to my right has a long, elevated suspension bridge and the one to my left....well, its there. I know what it all means and no, I didn't go into this much detail when I was talking to him. But there were things that I had to say. I went to bed drained last night, yet so much lighter. These thoughts and feelings have been threatening to suffocate me in the last couple of weeks...it just gets worse and worse. I'm glad that I talked to him before I left....it has much bearing on the things that I will think about as I sit on my mom's apartment balcony with hot chocolate and a cigarette and ponder where my life is going.
On top of feeling better from last night I managed to get 5 loads of laundry done today and PUT AWAY!!! And...I even took an hour nap! I know, I'm wonderwoman :).
4 years ago