Sunday, January 20, 2008

That Psycho Wench Has Struck Again

I did great taking my pills...until they rean out. Isn't that the way life goes? Just when you get used to life being great you get handed a big bowl of crap.

I freaked out tonight after I found the clothes I had folded (the ones I hadn't yet put away) laying on the floor by 2 pairs of his shoes. They were laying in a section of the floor that I had worked VERY hard on cleaning today. I was nice, but I asked him why he didn't just throw them in Ike's drawer instead of the floor.
He was very sweet. Told me how sorry he was and went to the room and picked them up. He told me it was very inconsiderate of him...he knew I had worked hard today to try and make sense of our room.

NOT! It went more like: Sarcasm oozed out of his mouth, along with a little venom and mirth. He blew my words out of proportion and accused me of throwing a fit. He said 'fine, (he'd) do all the laundry and dishes from now on and Hey, why didn't he just quit his job and stay home to take care of the kids to make my life a little easier?'
Then I fell apart and tried to expalin to him what I meant...that a little consideration would be nice and its not a 'my job/his job' situation. I want him to have pride in his room and if he sees something that needs to be done JUST DO IT! Then I mumbled something about being a complete failure and left the room.
A little while later I went outside to find him and try to pick up the pieces of a, otherwise good, day.

We have not fought since I started taking my meds again. I have had the laundry done and things have gone great...until mid-yesterday and little-by-little today. I watched that psychotic wench walk up to my doorstep and ring the bell...and I just opened the door and let her walk right in. She shoved me out as soon as she could and locked the door behind me. I watched her from the window as she blew up all over my life. I banged on the window, I screamed but she would not stop. When she'd had her fun she walked out the door, patted me on the shoulder and said 'Your turn." I HATE her!

No, I don't know when I'll have more meds. I can't afford to go to the doctor and I sure as heck can not afford the pills. My old doc gave me free sample bottles. I don't know what I'm going to do. Please keep me in your prayers and ignore me if I throw a rant or two in here...I'm not myself right now.

Did I mention that she seems 10' tall and bulletproof?


Chas said...

I'm sorry to hear this; I think that everybody blows up from time to time.

To me, with our National Health Service, it sounds terrible that you have to think about whether you can afford medication.

Certainly, I shall be praying for you guys.

Melissa said...

Very often, psych meds can be obtained for free. See what's available either through the manufacturer of that product, or for low income or social security type services. Then, try to get 3 month prescriptions that will be re-sent to you by mail if possible. That often works best for stuff like that.

I hope you're able to get things sorted out soon.

PS: Hey, check this link out. It was on the Cymbalta website.

Nicole said...

Best wishes from a fellow blog365 reader and bitch hater.

I hate that bitch too.
She comes here at least once a month.
Take it easy !

Cassandra Rae said...

I really admire your courage in sharing your story. You, your health, and how you feel are all way more important than the laundry. Please do at least one thing today to nurture you. It sounds like Melissa had some good ideas about getting help regardless of money.

Hugs ~

Kendra said...

Chas: Thank you :) I wish we had health covreage like that here...would make a difference to so many Americans.

Melissa: Thank you so much for the link. I had no idea! My mother will be talking to my old family doctor to see about getting some 'samples' until money can get better. If that doesn't work then at least I know there is help :)

Nicole: Lol :) At least you know what I'm talking about.

Cassandra: Thank you. It isn't easy sharing it...I've always been the person to hold everything in. I've found that by blogging about it I'm able to let go easier. If I'm angry, the anger seems to ebb away as I type...and then I can walk away and leave it in internet land.