Keys to Christmas

My family was given a great gift today and as I rode with Jennifer to acquire it, I commented that I felt as if I'd been given keys to the city. Today I recieved my own Christmas miracle.

Part of my not being around lately was a deep sadness that I didn't want to talk about. I was afraid that if I sat down and thought about truly blogging my life I would only end up with a 'poor me' post and, frankly, there have been enopugh of those. BUT, since the circimstances have changed I'd like to tell you all about it.
I will not deny that times are hard for most of America (and other parts of the world, I know)...but when its something you are personally dealing with it can seem that you are alone in you pain.

For two months I've hoped that Christmas wouldn't be as depressing as it looked. Bills were barely being paid, food barely kept in the cabinets. The kids desperately needed warm coats.
I looked at December's money/bill ratio and I plummeted with the fact that we would not have money to buy any presents at all for Christmas. Now, I know that Christmas is not all about presents. I've tried to relay that to my kids - despite what all of the shows on tv this time of year are telling them.
I asked Isaac - "If you only got one thing for Christmas...what would you want?" He said, "I'd really like that ATV game for playstation...but if you didn't have enough money for that I'd take a bike." That moment broke my heart a little. I should never have to hear my child think that way.
I've fought with myself over telling Isaac the truth about Santa. I just don't want him waking up on Christmas morning thinking that he'd been bad or that Santa didn't care about him - under those circumstances I'd rather him be mad at me.
This is the first year for Lylli to truly be excited about the holiday. She understands Santa - thanks to Disney channel and their never ending supply of Christmas themed episodes.

When I knew that there was no way to give them something on Christmas morning I contacted Toys for Tots. I had remembered one year, when I was about 12, that I went with my father to a party where I was given a cute purse and a few other things. We'd had a rough year and my father did what he could to provide a good christmas - now I understand.
So, 2 weeks ago I realized that its ok to ask for help. I knew that there were kids out there in far worse circumstances who deserved it - but I also know my circumstances and my children and that they deserve to be able to go to school when it resumes and join in the conversation when other kids are talking about what they got for Christmas.
Finally, yesterday a Sgt e-mailed me back and then called us. He asked no questions - just gave me the directions to the warehouse and said to come as quickly as I could.
I expected a present each - just one thing for them to open. I nearly cried when the cute guy in uniform told me I could pick out 3 presents each. He asked no question other than how old the kids were and pointed me to the right piles with a smile on his face.

Its funny - I felt greedy looking at those gifts. I kept looking at the smallest things I could find - had it not been for Jenn being with me I probably would have left with a few cars and a few ponies, lol.
We are so blessed.

I don't know whether the men watching over the toys fully understand what they are doing - what they are offering to these families. I pray they do.
I pray that every family that donated this year fully understands. Yes, they are giving kids presents on Christmas...but they are giving parents hope. I'm excited to put the tree up now - to decorate the house.
I get to feel like I provided something to my kids - and that is a big deal. But I know that I have not done this on my own. Thank you to the family(s) in or around Springfield, MO who bought the puppy with the cute pink carrier, the Crayola light-up color pad, the dinosaur moon sand, the helicopter, the fuzzy pink and plastic phone and the Barbie tea set.

This year, I KNOW there is a Santa. He isn't the Santa that I grew up with - no, he's Virginia's Santa. He exists in the people who have and choose to give. Thank you.

And thank you to the Marines for giving those people a chance to help.