Monday, July 5, 2010

My Apologies

Its been a long time since I've made a visit to my little corner of the the blog world. My life is so completely backwards right now and not having an internet connection at the house where I reside....well, it sucks. As it is at this moment, I'm sitting in a little town at the Subway there...mooching off their internet because I bought a sandwich I couldn't really afford.

I've found myself in a place where I can't talk about my life and its the one time that I've ever had so much blog fodder at one time that I can't even stand it. Oh, how you would all laugh and cry with me....but I'm so terrified of sharing.

Yes, I am still going through a divorce. My (soon to be) ex-husband and I both have new people in our lives so it feels like the tension and anger has subsided from his side a little...we are actually able to joke with each other every now and then when he picks up the kids. We are planning to have a joint birthday party for Lylli in August. It will be hard because the new man in my life will not be able to be there...he lives in

He was here for 2 weeks in June and, let me tell you...those were some amazing days. I've mentioned him here before, but it was in an "I miss this person I used to know" kind of way. He is such an amazing man and yes, I love him more than I ever thought was possible and even better...he loves me in such a way that I can feel it...I can see it when he looks at me...its an incredible kind of love :).

I'm desperately trying to find a job so I can find a place of my own, where the kids and I can relax and just be a family. I currently feel like there is a rubber band inside me that is stretched to its stretchiest point and is starting to chip and fray and I'm constantly in fear that it will snap. Whoa...wait....not like crazy-lady-injure-people snap....just about my depression...I'm really fighting it hard. I'm so stressed out and that point of wanting to curl up in the fetal position is close at hand...I can feel it.

But...I will survive...I am loved. my Love....Lars:


Entrepalavras said...

I'd like to understand more English to comment everything you writ but I understand fill words. I miss you be so happy. kisses to you and to family