Friday, January 14, 2011

Where Have I Been?


That's a good question, honestly. Despite my 'no emotion' diet I have been on quite the emotional roller coaster lately. I've come to the realization that I miss my online personality. I miss connecting with people and occasionally writing something that might mean something to someone other than me. Its been forever since I've had a connection like that.

My job ended at the theatre in Branson. I loved it and I loved the people that I got to work with...well, most of them. After the last show there was a huge party and I have never partied like that in my life - like a rockstar. It took me a few days to get over it and the mere mention of the word 'party' gives me a wobbly feeling. I was a bit sad because all the cool people I worked with weren't there...but I had a lot of fun talking to people that I hadn't yet been brave enough to...like some members of the music group.

Lars was here for Christmas and we celebrated the New Year together with the kids. I could spend an entire post on his visit and I think I'll do that tomorrow...something to inspire me to sit down and write for 2 days in a row. There was a lot less drama surrounding us this time and we got a chance to just BE together...to be us...and it was nice. I have some cute videos and pics but I have to get permission to post a couple of them...and I might have to promise my soul in order to get that permission :).

The job search is on again. I've had 2 interviews this time and I feel really good about the second one. I miss working. I miss having money to spend and save, I miss being able to see my kids and do things with them, I miss looking forward to finally getting my own place and being a true adult...although the things I have learned in the last 6 months have, I hope and believe, changed me for the better.

Being in a new relationship is...strange sometimes. I have yet to meet his family, though I have had a brief video introduction with his parents, via Skype. I don't yet speak enough Dutch to be able to have a conversation...thankfully he doesn't mind interpreting for me right now. I'm still extremely nervous about meeting everyone in person though. However, meeting the family is just a small part of the strangeness.
Being married for 11 years, you just get to a point where you know what to expect from your partner. You know them, their family, what makes them tick....
Now I'm nearly 30 and I'm having to do it all over again. Its just a strange thing. You think you know someone and then something like the fact that they've never had Jello just kinda knocks you upside the head. Things that you just never think to ask because you take it for granted. Seriously, when was the last time that you had to learn something as simple as that about someone else? Or meet the family for the first time? Or what size shoe they wear?

Its officially after midnight here in Missouri and I must say goodnight. See you again in 8 hours :)

2 comments:

Mackenzies Momma said...

You know....I'm right in that boat with you. I'm in a 'new' relationship and it is so very odd to be there in that learning stage with someone.

Kendra said...

Its just downright bizarre sometimes. Especially as I'm on my own in day to day life since he lives 6000 miles away and I'm learning what its like to just be myself....and I would LOVE to hear more about this new relationship of yours :)